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  • San Francisco, CA In a recent news report, a fast-growing taxi company announced they will be releasing a fleet of self-driving cars to replace their already struggling drivers. Today, they decided to take comfort to the next level."We wanted to keep the experience as organic as possible for our fellow humans." Stated the head of the project, Dr. Rob Otto, in a calming, yet very monotone voice."Research indicates that humans, including myself of course, enjoy our services because of the incredible musical skills that our drivers posess. A number of viral videos have brought this to our attention.""The cars themselves…

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  • Victoria, British Columbia   An unnamed dumbass decided to launch a new website today for satire news articles.   "it was just for fun." He told reporters. "I thought this could be a little pet project or something."   After 2 hours of work, he remembered how shitty it is to make websites.   "I'll keep going. I literally have nothing better to do." He stated. "Seriously."